Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omniscient weasel.

Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of dogs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Sagabkimdubsagkabfatcun on top of important buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.