Nilfontafjam is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil turtle.

Nilfontafjam created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilfontafjam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nilfontafjam, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nilfontafjam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nilfontafjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Run away if four snakes approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat lentils.