Nigbatpig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, omniscient guinea pig.

Nigbatpig created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigbatpig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nigbatpig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nigbatpig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nigbatpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Do not drink alcohol.