Dinnulvil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, selfish jaguar.

Dinnulvil created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinnulvil, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dinnulvil, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dinnulvil's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Dinnulvil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Dinnulvil on top of all buildings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never mention ants.