Wodpigril is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awesome porpoise.

Wodpigril created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodpigril, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wodpigril, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wodpigril's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wodpigril's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never paint your back magenta.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.