Watpakmin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart badger.

Watpakmin created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Watpakmin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Watpakmin, it will turn you into a puffin.

Watpakmin's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Watpakmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Always obey Watpakmin's priests.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.