Wipfarnarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional aardvark.

Wipfarnarn created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wipfarnarn, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wipfarnarn, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wipfarnarn's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Wipfarnarn's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray capybaras, for they are unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not kill sheep.