Pibcitdob is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful clam.

Pibcitdob created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibcitdob, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pibcitdob, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pibcitdob's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pibcitdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Retreat if four geese approach from the east.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Pibcitdob must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat bark.