Futnillhen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak chinchilla.

Futnillhen created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Futnillhen, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Futnillhen, it will boil you in a big pot.

Futnillhen's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Futnillhen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Futnillhen.

2. Run away from green turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must love Futnillhen.

5. Always pray immersed in water.