Bitvidtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless newt.

Bitvidtaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitvidtaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bitvidtaf, he will strike you with lightening.

Bitvidtaf's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bitvidtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away from violet dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about gravity.