Yarphitcimmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, pitiless gerbil.

Yarphitcimmeg created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarphitcimmeg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarphitcimmeg, it will make you grow a tail.

Yarphitcimmeg's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Yarphitcimmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Put Yarphitcimmeg first in all things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yarphitcimmeg.