Hentalkin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent guinea pig.

Hentalkin created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hentalkin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hentalkin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hentalkin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hentalkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must love Hentalkin.

5. Always help birds.