Metlungon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful fairy.

Metlungon created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Metlungon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Metlungon, he will turn you into a frog.

Metlungon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Metlungon's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near cats.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Put Metlungon first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.