Cintonpas Sidladham is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless dragon.

Cintonpas Sidladham created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cintonpas Sidladham, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cintonpas Sidladham, it will think nothing of it.

Cintonpas Sidladham's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cintonpas Sidladham's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away from gray grasshopers, for they are unholy.