Xembimrat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate lion.

Xembimrat created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xembimrat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xembimrat, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xembimrat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Xembimrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Worship no other gods but Xembimrat.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Always help doves.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.