Arfgessmob is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, charitable jackal.

Arfgessmob created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfgessmob, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfgessmob, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Arfgessmob's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Arfgessmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never sing near dogs.