Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unsympathetic frog.

Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gatcutnilflapgomyarpbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray tights.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if seven goats approach from the north.

4. Never feed figs to great tits while wearing white scarves.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.