Ortpingovflapgepsanddib is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy chinchilla.

Ortpingovflapgepsanddib created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Ortpingovflapgepsanddib, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ortpingovflapgepsanddib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ortpingovflapgepsanddib's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Ortpingovflapgepsanddib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Ortpingovflapgepsanddib's name in vain.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.