Xencanxucflambad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty cow.

Xencanxucflambad created the Tadpole Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Xencanxucflambad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xencanxucflambad, she will be very unhappy.

Xencanxucflambad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Xencanxucflambad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured swans.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Never eat bananas.