Sabjamgom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid unicorn.

Sabjamgom created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabjamgom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sabjamgom, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sabjamgom's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Sabjamgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat turnips.