Jabdumdum Tunbinjad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful walrus.

Jabdumdum Tunbinjad created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabdumdum Tunbinjad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jabdumdum Tunbinjad, it will manifest in front of you.

Jabdumdum Tunbinjad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Jabdumdum Tunbinjad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Do not take Jabdumdum Tunbinjad's name in vain.

3. You must pray to Jabdumdum Tunbinjad seven times a day.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never play with disobedient children.