Gadlapkam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, amazing deer.

Gadlapkam created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadlapkam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gadlapkam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gadlapkam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gadlapkam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. You must love Gadlapkam.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gadlapkam.

5. Gadlapkam loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.