Bimkonbom is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unjust monkey.

Bimkonbom created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimkonbom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bimkonbom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bimkonbom's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bimkonbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bimkonbom.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Do not make images of living things.