Kamsitstik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent eagle.

Kamsitstik created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamsitstik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kamsitstik, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kamsitstik's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kamsitstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never bounce in the presence of seals.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.