Janquatjin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent mongoose.

Janquatjin created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Janquatjin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Janquatjin, he will cry a lot.

Janquatjin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Janquatjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.