Arfgubmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty sheep.

Arfgubmeg created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Arfgubmeg, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfgubmeg, she will boil you in a big pot.

Arfgubmeg's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Arfgubmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mites.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Arfgubmeg.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not chop down trees.