Ontyikbad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, quiet mink.

Ontyikbad created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontyikbad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontyikbad, it will turn you into a sheep.

Ontyikbad's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Ontyikbad's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look after injured dogs.