Rapbonklin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, impressive goblin.

Rapbonklin created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapbonklin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rapbonklin, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rapbonklin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Rapbonklin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rapbonklin.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never think about cell theory.