Flabkambembon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating donkey.

Flabkambembon created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flabkambembon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flabkambembon, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Flabkambembon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flabkambembon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Never bounce in the presence of foxes.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.