Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, flying tortoise.

Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon.

3. Always obey Quimsanweg Jarnkamjapfon's priests.

4. Always help doves.

5. Always take life seriously.