Kapxuckip is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, emotional newt.

Kapxuckip created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapxuckip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kapxuckip, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kapxuckip's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kapxuckip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kapxuckip.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never wear mauve boots.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.