Monfligbatloopfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, astonishing narwhal.

Monfligbatloopfoss created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Monfligbatloopfoss, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Monfligbatloopfoss, he will turn you into a mole.

Monfligbatloopfoss' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Monfligbatloopfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.