Sakhapfen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane monkey.

Sakhapfen created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakhapfen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sakhapfen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sakhapfen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sakhapfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Put Sakhapfen first in all things.

5. Always wear black.