Zagditlak is a god.

He takes the form of a large, thoughtless mongoose.

Zagditlak created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagditlak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagditlak, he will make you grow a tail.

Zagditlak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zagditlak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zagditlak first in all things.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Feed all hungry great tits.