Quatlakbut Narflaphud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, boastful dugong.

Quatlakbut Narflaphud created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Quatlakbut Narflaphud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatlakbut Narflaphud, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quatlakbut Narflaphud's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quatlakbut Narflaphud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never wear yellow scarves.

3. Always obey Quatlakbut Narflaphud's priests.

4. Do not hurt voles.

5. Never write about comets.