Hapgendag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful lizard.

Hapgendag created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgendag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hapgendag, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hapgendag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Hapgendag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Never skip near capybaras.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Hapgendag on top of important buildings.