Femminbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, moody walrus.

Femminbag created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femminbag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Femminbag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Femminbag's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Femminbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.