Zimniblun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic dugong.

Zimniblun created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Zimniblun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zimniblun, he will laugh at you.

Zimniblun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zimniblun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.