Padkinnad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, intelligent alligator.

Padkinnad created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Padkinnad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Padkinnad, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Padkinnad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Padkinnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about ants.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear yellow tights.