Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sage alligator.

Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Do not take Quafbarnflow Dapgepcipbegquaf Cepnatlit's name in vain.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.