Jadgeparn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate faun.

Jadgeparn created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadgeparn, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jadgeparn, it will turn you into a tree.

Jadgeparn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Jadgeparn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jadgeparn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.