Jarnmotsid is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, boastful bear.

Jarnmotsid created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnmotsid, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jarnmotsid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jarnmotsid's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Jarnmotsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. You must pray to Jarnmotsid nine times a day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always obey Jarnmotsid's priests.