Stiptinzan Bitzogquill is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, moody hamster.

Stiptinzan Bitzogquill created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiptinzan Bitzogquill, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stiptinzan Bitzogquill, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Stiptinzan Bitzogquill's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Stiptinzan Bitzogquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Run away if three whales approach from the east.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not speak about limes.