Tuntonfub Flymadtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, emotional seal.

Tuntonfub Flymadtarg created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tuntonfub Flymadtarg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tuntonfub Flymadtarg, she will curse you with boils.

Tuntonfub Flymadtarg's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tuntonfub Flymadtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Erect seven lead sculptures of Tuntonfub Flymadtarg on top of important buildings.

5. Tuntonfub Flymadtarg must be the most important thing in your life.