Maphotquill is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, grumpy hyena.

Maphotquill created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Maphotquill, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Maphotquill, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Maphotquill's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Maphotquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep.

2. Run away from purple dogs, for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Maphotquill three times a day.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.