Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, competent hummingbird.

Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg, she will turn you into a snail.

Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flammitflisdoss Yarlmitbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.