Pakkammiskamcud is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, blissful scorpion.

Pakkammiskamcud created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakkammiskamcud, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pakkammiskamcud, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pakkammiskamcud's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pakkammiskamcud's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Always treat bats with great respect.

5. Hide from white goats for they are unholy.