Gidhimxem is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome duck.

Gidhimxem created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidhimxem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gidhimxem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gidhimxem's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gidhimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if six birds approach from the east.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Pray towards the north.