Tikvadvagbisswadhog is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental mouse.

Tikvadvagbisswadhog created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Tikvadvagbisswadhog, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tikvadvagbisswadhog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tikvadvagbisswadhog's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tikvadvagbisswadhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always obey Tikvadvagbisswadhog's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never jump in holy places.