Nigflatdut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful gorilla.

Nigflatdut created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigflatdut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nigflatdut, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nigflatdut's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nigflatdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about moons.